Happiness

Happiness.

Why do you leave me lost for words?

When I despair, the tirade flows so effortlessly.

Yet to capture you, my happiness, seems an almost impossible task.

To enshrine you, to solidify and keep you, like Han Solo in his carbonite casing, seems beyond my grasp. Beyond the capacity of my use of language.

The feeling, though as deep as my customary despair, seems so light and free, so natural as it were, that I can barely trap and contain it.

It flitters past, playing games with me, yet making me smile without my conscious realisation.

Oh Happiness.

Why can’t you be permanently preserved? Encapsulated in my words, to forever be returned to?

I love your feeling. You are a trickster – sneaking away from me, only to return at some unexpected time.

I’m glad you’ve been coming to visit more often.

You and I are closer now, and I know that what we’ve built together will be much harder to lose.

I feel lucky now, I almost feel.. changed forever. And I hope it’s true.

© Michelle De Aizpurua and MissyCartoons 2015

Musings

Lost

Alone

If I could just overpower my inner demons

I would be so free

To not care how many friends,

How many events

To love my self and know my worth

Irrespective of my interactions with the outside

For my inner strength to overpower my outer insecurities

To be free

I ache in my search

the pain is unbearable

Yet I can’t reach

always out of reach

always

I know what I need

yet it seems impossible to break my nature

constructed as it may be.

Arduous and tormenting activity

What truly matters?

What truly begets happiness and assurance?

How can one alter the inner monologue?

One which has been so meticulously created

and so relentlessly reinforced…

I want to escape

but I don’t know how.

© Michelle De Aizpurua and MissyCartoons 2014

The MAN